Week 3 After Knee Replacement: The Sloth, The Shower, & The Silver Linings
- 13 hours ago
- 5 min read
By: A very clean-but-also-not-clean-enough recovering human. Week 3 has officially arrived, and let me tell you… this journey is equal parts heroic, hilarious, humbling, and occasionally itchy (more on that later).
The Shower Saga: Me vs. The Bathtub
Despite my daily sponge baths - where I channel my inner “spa attendant who didn’t ask for this job” - there is nothing that compares to a hot shower. Unfortunately, my leg still refuses to lift itself into the tub like a normal, cooperating limb.
Picture this: Me, standing there, wrapped in a towel, thinking I’m about to have a victorious moment…But instead, I’m basically Linus from Snoopy, dragging my comfort blanket of towels behind me because my knee said, “Nope, not today.”
One day soon, I will step over that bathtub wall like Beyoncé entering a stage. But today? I am Sponge-Bathe Supreme.
Night-Time Pain: The “You Did Too Much” Tax
Week 3 has taught me that knee replacement recovery has a very clear energy ledger:
Do too much during the day → Pay for it at night.
And yes… I still overdo it.
The moment I feel even slightly better, I suddenly slip into “yogi/massage-therapist-who-knows-better-but-does-it-anyway” mode - stretching a little too far, tidying a little too long, or deciding I can absolutely handle “just one more thing.”
Note to self: Just because your mind thinks you can do something doesn't mean your knee agrees.
Physio + Breath + Yoga
One thing I have been consistent with is physio - and let me tell you, adding breathwork and gentle yoga poses has been a game changer.
I swear at least 40% of healing is just remembering to breathe…The other 60% is convincing yourself not to throw the exercise band out the window.
But honestly? The slow stretching, the mindful breathing, the quiet moments - they’re giving me structure, calm, and tiny wins every day.
Routine coming soon… once I test it enough that it doesn’t make me swear.
The Power Gripper: My Best Friend & Emotional
Support Grabber
If you don’t have a gripper tool yet, RUN - don’t walk - and get one. This thing is basically a magic wand for people who can’t bend, twist, or pretend to be graceful right now.
Here’s what my Mighty Gripper does on the daily:
Pulls curtains with the elegance of a Broadway stagehand
Picks up dropped items (that I absolutely yeeted onto the floor by accident)
Saves my back from reenacting tragic flamingo poses
Saves my mood from spiraling into “WHY IS EVERYTHING ON THE FLOOR” tantrums
Grabs socks, shoes, snacks, remote controls, and the occasional runaway ice pack
Helps me shift pillows, blankets, and anything that has betrayed me by being too far away
Hooks laundry, mail, and grocery bags like I'm competing in some domestic carnival game
Turns me into Inspector Gadget, complete with sound effects (go-go-gadget-grip!)
Prevents 14 meltdowns per day, minimum
At this point, if the gripper had a loyalty card, I’d be platinum tier with bonus points and
lounge access.
My Son: MVP of Week 3
Let’s talk about the real hero of this story… my son, Grae.
He has been incredible - calm, supportive, and endlessly patient - even while I lumber around the house like a grumpy, starving zombie, moaning and groaning with my worst zombie-walk, clutching at snack jars like they’re brains. One minute I’m collapsing on the couch, the next I’m dragging myself to the kitchen muttering:✨ “Feed me, Seymour!” ✨
Grae has handled it all with kindness, humour, and more tolerance than I deserved. He deserves a trophy, a cape, and probably his own spa retreat for dealing with Zombie-Mum.
My Neighbour: The Sweet Saint Next Door
And then there’s my neighbour - the official “Driving Miss Kelly” chauffeur, patiently shuttling me around like I’m some slightly bossy, mildly dramatic VIP.
She’s also upgraded me to my newest role: the Official Christmas Treats Taster (yes, I am the taster… and no, my butt does not appreciate this promotion).
Even when I’m high-maintenance (which is… often), she shows up with kindness, humour, and sugar. Honestly, she deserves a medal, a parade, and maybe hazard pay - perhaps wine :)
My Podcast Era Has Begun
Sitting, resting, elevating, icing…This is PRIME podcast time.
Here’s what I’ve been loving - and what you should absolutely add to your recovery playlist:
🔥 Favorites
The Bridge — Peter Mansbridge (iconic Canadian)
The Ex-Files — Christiane Amanpour & Jamie Rubin (brilliant take on relationships & politics & life collisions)
✨ New Addictions
The Good Hang with Amy Poehler (just… laughter & joy)
Woo Woo with Rachel Dratch (fun, quirky, very “give me the Woo please”)
The Oprah Podcast - just listened Scott Galloway: “Notes on Being a Man.” If you have a son, or have ever met a man, this episode is an eye-opener. Required listening.
Feeling Like a Sloth… But a Grateful One
Some days I move like a sloth wading through peanut butter. Some days I nap like it’s my
part-time job.
But here’s the thing: I’m actually grateful! *Grateful for this forced Pause. *Grateful for the time to rebuild my strength. *Grateful for the clarity that comes when you can’t run around and distract yourself with noise. This time is healing more than just my knee but understanding what I preach and "Practice the Pause"
Flea Update (because of course this is my life right now)
And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for…
The Flea Situation. Well…Ummm…Let’s just say…
It’s still a bit of a shitshow. They are relentless. Biblically relentless. Old-Testament-kind-of-plague relentless. But we persist. Because that’s what Week 3 is all about. Endurance and Persistence.
From me to you!
If you’re recovering too - from surgery, burnout, life curveballs, or your own personal flea circus - just know this:
You are healing, even on the slow days. You’re doing enough, even when you feel like a sloth wrapped in an ice pack. And you’re absolutely allowed to laugh at the absurd, messy, ridiculous moments - they are part of the story too!
We don’t always get to choose the pause…but we do get to choose how we walk (or wobble) through it. So here’s to softness, strength, deep breaths, hot showers, good neighbours, helpful sons (kids), holy-grail grippers, and every tiny victory in between.
More updates soon - including my knee-friendly yoga + meditation routine, crafted with love, humour, and zero knee rebellion.
Stay tuned… and stay gentle with yourself.
As always "Shifts Happen when you Practice the Pause"
Cheers, Kelly xo
